You're having a crisis!

So Sunday rolls around, and I'm woken at the crack of dawn with another dose of antibiotics and another round of vital signs. The nurse always had a good laugh at my vitals - I either had the perfect pulse and high blood pressure, or the perfect blood pressure and a high pulse.  Weird.  Anyway, the plan for the day was possible transfer to the city.  This was becoming the story of my life!

The first excitement of the day - I was finally allowed to eat!  Woohoo!!  Breakfast couldn't come fast enough. And being a Sunday, I was sure it would be a "good" breakfast!

Or not.....  Oh well, everything still tasted like metal, so my appetite was pretty dismal anyway.

My oldest was working again, so the youngest came to spend the day with me.  It was nice just hanging out, although the sounds of my IV annoyed her.  But I was kind of getting used to it. It was great having the room to ourselves too.  We watched some tv on netflix, and kind of did our own thing.  Lunch was worse than breakfast, lasagna that tasted like puke.  Two bites and I was done.

Soon after lunch, I had a visitor - the crisis nurse. My nurse from the day before had obviously thought I had lost the plot enough after my little breakdown that I needed to talk to the crisis counselor.  Great.  Even after I said no, I was fine.  <sigh>

This woman was clearly nuts herself.  Worst crisis counselor ever.  She would often turn the conversation back to herself, and at one point I thought SHE was going to cry!  WTF?  She basically spent 2 hours chatting to me - very civil and conversational, but nothing deep and meaningful.  I know I bottle up my emotions, I know I don't tell people how I really feel, and I know a GOOD counselor can see through this.  I have had two counselors in the past very quickly see through me and call 'bullshit' when I say everything is fine.  A good counselor knows how to get your to open up and makes you dig deep.  This stupid woman took a few notes and left saying that she felt I was on top of everything, that I had a positive attitude and it seemed I was holding it all together.  Ummm, yeah - i'm holding it together because my CHILD is in the room with me!  Oh well - I 'passed' her little test, and wouldn't have to see her again.

My nurse had also mentioned that she could ask the doctor for a pass so i could go home for a few hours.  Now, for some reason this stressed me out - last time I had been home I had totally lost it. So even though i wanted to be there and spend time with the girls, i was scared of losing control again.  I explained this to the nurse and said I was more comfortable staying there in my little bubble away from reality.  But this didn't stop her coming in soon after the crisis nurse left saying (in front of my daughter) that the doctor had written me a pass to go home for a few hours if i wanted.  Thanks.  Now I have to explain to my child way i didn't want to go home. Nurses are clearly idiots.....

Dinner was even more pathetic than lunch - a dodgy piece of baked ham with brussel sprouts, it smelt like puke.  Who on earth thought it would be a good idea serving something that smells like vomit to sick people in hospital?  So I ended up having a nice healthy dinner out of the vending machine. No transfer to the city was happening today (didn't think it would happen on a sunday anyway), and I was left alone to my own thoughts and fears for another night.