Drugs and my lack of filter

I get to the OR waiting bay, and am put in a bed to wait.  I could hear the nurse giving report to the OR nurse, and just listening to them talking about me hit me hard.  I couldn't help it, but the tears just started flowing, and the shaking began again.  How the hell did I end up here?  Yesterday I was busy working on policies and annoying the staff with audits and checks, and now I'm lying here waiting to see if I am going to survive this. The feelings are overwhelming when I hear the nurse say I had had symptoms for 6 months.  Seriously, who the hell ignores something like this for 6 months? 

I'm trying to get it together before the OR nurse comes back in when the curtain opens and in walks K, the OR manager.  She doesn't say a word, she just grabs a box of tissues and sits next to me waiting for me to get back under control.  It's now 4.30pm on a Friday, I don't understand why she is still here.  No managers are still in the building at this hour on a Friday (unless the VP is mean enough to schedule a meeting at 3pm on a friday, but that's a whole other issue!)  She tells me she is staying until I go in. I argue with her - she must have better things to do on a friday evening. But she says no, she wants to be here and I'm not facing this alone.  Cue fresh tears.  Next my boss pops her head in.  She's not going anywhere either.  She says she'll see me on the other side.

Now I haven't been to the OR before, so K takes me on a scenic tour explaining all the rooms along the way as we're heading to *my* OR.  Was a weird way to distract me, but helped delay things a little bit. We got to the OR, and I shuffled across to the table and got into position. I get all hooked up, and before I know it they're injecting me with the good stuff.  I remember looking up into K's eyes and saying "woah, this is trippy" as I felt everything swirling around me, and I was gone.

Next thing I know, I hear K's voice telling me it's ok, open my eyes.  I can hear the machines beeping and everyone busy around me.  Then I heard my doctor saying something and I turned to him and said "you're as sexy as f*ck" WTF ????  where did THAT come from?  I could hear myself saying "why did i just say that?"  It was weird - i could hear myself saying things but i couldn't stop it. My brain was saying SHUT UP YOU MORON but my mouth was going yak yak yakkity yak.  K laughed and said I had just said something much worse.  I did?  What?  Oh no, I'm not going to repeat it, she said.

Finally, I got my eyes open, and both K and my boss are there, enjoying the entertainment I was providing.  They stayed with me until I was ready to go back to the surgery unit, where I had J, the surgery manager waiting for me.  I walked myself to my bed telling my nurse to go get my phone and ipad out of my office (i had locked it up away from my horrible roommate while i was gone)

Now I just want to put it out there - there should be a policy or a law or something that BANS hospitals from returning any electronic device to someone who has had a general anesthetic. If you're not allowed to drive after a GA, you shouldn't be allowed to communicate with anyone either!

So the highlights of the night - I apparently kept everyone very amused.  I text everyone and anyone telling them how high I was and how funny I was.  I asked someone, no wait, I TOLD someone to marry me, I text my kids that I was totally stoned, I messaged my brother some crap about how being high was totally awesome.  It went on and on. I'm sure at least one person enjoyed my total lack of filter as I went on to say anything I felt like.  J tried to get me to put my phone away, but I was away in la-la land and she gave up.  She did intervene when I tried to take a photo of my catheter bag.  They had put some die in my bladder I think?  So my pee was blue.  Smurf pee!  And I was apparently so fascinated with it, I was trying to take a photo to put on facebook.  J wisely suggested I not go that far.  As I was talking to J, I had a sudden flashback and I gasped.  I said "J, I think I might had said something really rude to V (our boss)"  It would appear that after calling my gynecologist sexy, I went on to tell my boss that I had grand plans for the redevelopment of the unit, and she wasn't going to like them, but I was going to do them anyway, and she better not f*ck with MY unit while I was gone.  OMG!!!!  (i'm caught between being totally mortified and thinking hey - it's her own fault for being there!)

J eventually left, and I got bored.  So I started roaming the halls and went across to the maternity unit to say hi to the girls there.  Not sure what I said to them, but apparently I was high as a kite and pretty funny.  Even my night nurse enjoyed the entertainment, when she came to give my antibiotics the next morning she said "you're still pretty funny, but you were much funnier last night".  So I guess I kept everyone very well entertained.  I will point out, that my lack of filter was harmless.  I wasn't nasty or mean to anyone (that I have proof of!), but I definitely wasn't my usual controlled reserved self.

Oh, when i got back from surgery - i was finally allowed to eat!  woohoo! i didn't actually have any appetite, but i was pretty thirsty.   My poor appetite wasn't helped much when I took a bite of my sandwich -

chicken salad? tasted like pasty cat food.  One bite was enough to gross me out, so i put it back.  When my nurse was taking the tray away later on, my roommate asked if she could have the food.  What the hell? Some people are really weird!

So I survived the biopsy, I might not survive the constant reminders of 'remember that night you were high on drugs?' and after that pathetic attempt of a meal, i was back to being NPO for the CT scan.